Sex? No Thanks, I’m British!

Sexy Enough?

Yes, I am British.  At least I was British.  Occasionally I even speak with an obvious English accent that comes and goes as it pleases, even though I have yet to set foot anywhere on the British Isles. It’s also true that I’m Canadian and I’m (ethnic) Chinese. While that may be confusing to some, I can assure you that it is certainly no less confusing than trying to figure out which gender I am supposed to be, or the answer to the question of life, universe and everything. (The answer is to the latter question is, of course, 42, and if you are confused, read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it’s a “trilogy” of 5 science fiction novels by Douglas Adams.)

The confusions in gender identity inevitably bring up the even more confusing questions of my sexuality.  Among the many questions that I have been asked—some frequently:

• Am I attracted to women?
• If I see myself as female, does that make me a lesbian?
• Am I attracted to men?
• Do I fantasize about having sex as those women that I am attracted to?
• And is that with another woman?
• Or with a man?
• Am I a “top” or are you a “bottom”?

No doubt, the answer to any of these are none of your business.  I will clarify that for a long time in my life, I thought that as a woman, I was attracted to men.  But then as I grew up, I realized that while I was fascinated with the idea of being with a man, there isn’t a man on earth that I’d actually be attracted to.  The male body is just so, umm, ugly.  But while all these are indeed interesting questions, it actually doesn’t change how I am to live.  That part is very biblical and incredibly simple: I won’t have sex with you. Ever.  To clarify, I love sex. I enjoy sex immensely.  Just not with you. That’s right, I will not have sex with you—real sex or cyber sex; that is:

• I will not sleep with you
• I will not make passionate love to you
• I will not let you fuck me
• I will not have intercourse with you, and
• I will certainly not blow, suck or lick any of your body parts

no matter who you think you are.  I am a happily married woman, albeit a transgendered woman, and I share my bed with my spouse (i.e. my best friend, my soul-mate, my better half) every night, and you’re not welcomed into our bedroom.  And while we are on this subject, to all male admirers, do not send me pictures of you genitals.  I am not interested in seeing your penis.  That’s disgusting and rude.  And if you dare think that—for whatever lame reason you can come up with—your appendage is somehow different from everyone else’s, and therefore Kate ought to take her time to marvel/study it, you should know that it’s not special. And worse yet, if you think that by showing me your penis, that I’d change my mind about not having sex with you, you ought to be publicly shamed.  That said, if there are any female admirers out there, I am not interested in seeing your body parts either.

I understand that most of you perverts out there aren’t really seriously thinking about having sex with me.  Nevertheless, I still urge you not to treat me as an object of your fantasy.  I am very real, and there are a lot more to the real me than shows in my blog.  And the real Kate has many scary attributes.

This post is also available in: Chinese (Traditional)